The non-apology ‘apology’

Note that many media outlets report that Miley Cyrus has apologized twice for the “slant-eye” gesture. Not once, but twice! Can you believe it! Now maybe Asians and rabbits can put this issue to rest.

The press often hastens to declare that somebody  “apologized” for  racism even when the “apology” doesn’t quite measure up. I think that this might have to do with the intense discomfort around discussing race, as well as the desire to let likable personalities off the hook.

So let’s take a look at Miley’s apologies, shall we?

I can’t believe all of the silly STUFF that has been put out in the press this week! It really makes me sad that people want to tear other people down just for the sake of magazine sells and hits on websites! Unfortunately, it seems like BAD is what sells!

Translation:  Racism is just “silly stuff,” not to be taken seriously.  And Miley is the victim here, with other people wanting to tear her down!  How awful!  Poor Miley!

I’ve also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I’m sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context! In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy? It seems someone is trying to make something out of nothing to me. If that would of been anyone else, it would of been overlooked! I definitely feel like the press is trying to make me out as the new ‘BAD GIRL’! I feel like now that Britney Spears is back on top of her game again, they need someone to pick on! Lucky me! Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know what is on my heart. You guys know me and have been by my side every step of the way!

Translation: Those people are oversensitive. And Asians have goofy faces. Racism isn’t newsworthy; everybody knows it’s an everyday occurrence like “Dog bites man.” Not even worth reporting. And why do other people get away with their racism? No fair! I’m the victim here! You all KNOW I’m not a racist! I couldn’t possibly be a racist! I don’t have to SHOW that I’m not racist. I just have to ANNOUNCE it.

Funny how white people who often talk about people of color “playing the victim” are quick to make themselves the victim when they are accused of racism.

You guys know my heart and know the most important things to me are my friends, family, fans, and GOD! In NO WAY do I want to disappoint any of you! But, when I have made mistakes in the past, I feel like I’ve owned up to them and apologized. Anyway, I really wish everyone would stop focusing on my personal life and get back to focusing on what I love! Music and Acting! Hopefully, I will be touring again this fall! Yayy! =] It will be a nice change to be back out on the road again! xoxo Blessings.. Miley

Translation: I am NOT a racist. Everybody knows CHRISTIANS are not racists. And I am a good person who owns up to her mistakes, except in this case I have nothing to apologize for because I did nothing wrong.

And here’s “apology” number two, issued a bit later:

I want to thank all of my fans for their support not only this week, but always! I really wanted to stress how sorry I am if the photo of me with my friends offended anyone. I have learned a valuable lesson from this and know that sometimes my actions can be unintentionally hurtful. I know everything is a part of GOD’s ultimate plan, and mistakes happen so that eventually I will become the woman he aspires me to be. Peace and love, Miles

Got that? “How sorry I am IF” it offended anyone. Not BECAUSE it offended people. Not BECAUSE it was racist. And here’s the statement about intent again. I didn’t mean to do it! Honest! My fingers just happened to slip up to the corner of my eyes and yank them upward while all my other friends were simultaneously making goofy faces!

And here we go with GOD again.

Here’s the general non-apology apology recipe: Use qualifiers, like “IF.” Make sure you deny any intent whatsoever. That way you can deny responsibility. It’s just about people picking on you. Make sure to invoke GOD. And state that you can’t possibly be a racist. Despite your racist actions.

Because if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it must not be a duck. Sorry.

9 thoughts on “The non-apology ‘apology’

  1. Reminds me of a recent meeting, advocating for a student with a school administrator. He (administrator) said something very ignorant and offensive to the student. When I called him on it, he got defensive and said “Whoa! This is uncomfortable! I feel like I’m being attacked here!” along with, “Well, I’m sorry if you took it the wrong way.” That was his apology. I’m sorry if you took it the wrong way.

    Maybe he’s Miley’s long lost uncle? But hey, you know, it’s probably just because Britney’s back on top of her game that I just feel compelled to unfairly attack well intentioned Disney girls and school administrators.

  2. God. This thing pisses me off. I just saw the yahoo article on this and 90% of the comments were not only racist but in support of miley cyrus (or should I say, it is in support of myley cyrus SPECIFICALLY bc they’re racist)

    Ppl were posting sh*t like “asians have slant eyes anyways!” um. No. Asian’s don’t have “slant” eyes. Only racist caricatures like PULLING AT ONES EYES (here’s looking at you miley) show asians with “slant eyes.”

    And then there were MORE ridiculous posts about how the asian guy was mocking whites by “making his eyes look big”. um. no. he wasn’t pulling at his eyes to make them look round. He simply had his eyes OPEN.

    It only goes to show that racists will do ANYTHING and say anything, regardless of how ridiculous it is to put other ppl down and make themselves feel better.

    I’m so frigging PISSED OFF that Obama is letting Miley Cyrus go to the whitehouse to perform for his kids. This is just wrong!!

    I’m just a powerless commoner and I lack the ability to call up Obama and tell him how ridiculous it is to invite Miley Cyrus, the anti-asian racist, to perform for his kids, especially when he has asian relatives. But if I had his number or e-mail, boy, would I give him an earful on this.

    I expected better from Obama, the first non-white president of america.

    If Miley was just being “goofy” when she and her white friends were pulling at their eyes (btw, I feel bad for the lone asian guy who frankly, looked fearful in that pic) I’d like to see her get away with painting her skin black.

  3. I give up. The people who don’t think this is racist are also the ones who think “Barack the Magic Negro” is “satire” – it’s an exercise in futility.

    On the positive side, if I ever get called into school because my kid is accused of bullying, I’ll tell the other parent, “I’m sorry if my kid took your kid’s lunch money” and if that doesn’t work, I’ll try the more heartfelt, “I’m sorry if his actions hurt your kid. He’s learned a very valuable lesson about how to treat his classmates. God knows his heart.” That’s a free pass right?

    You forgot to add the “learned a valuable lesson life lesson” part to the non-apology apology. No apology is complete without the life lesson learned. I can’t just be sorry if you didn’t like that I kicked you. I have to learn that sometimes other people can get hurt unintentionally by my actions and they may cry because they’re a bunch of over-sensitive sissies. Doh! Wrong lesson. I’m sorry that you didn’t like that I kicked you. If it made you cry, I’m really really super sorry. I’ve learned a very valuable lesson that I’m stronger than I think I am and sometimes I can accidentally hurt people. Hugs and kisses.

  4. I get so sick of people trying put the blame of something they did onto someone else. I don’t care how old she is, she should have at least known how to apologize. Never mind the fact, that she should have never done it in the first place.

  5. From this month’s Glamour:

    GLAMOUR: This year there were pictures that came out that made you look racist. What do you say to people who were offended by that?

    MC: I regret what it became. I was embarrassed and I apologized. And I am sorry. I am going to be more careful in the future, but I know this won’t be the last mistake I make. The minute I stop making mistakes is the minute I stop learning.

    Glad to know she regrets what it became, not what she did. And that’s a guarantee it won’t be the last similar mistake of this sort.

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