Why I hate adoptive parents

Number 16 in a series.  Please note that this is not the new, improved, longer and angrier rant that was predicted (threatened?) in an earlier post.  It’s just a garden-variety hate-filled post, with a vitriol level hovering around five or so.  Newcomers to the blog:  As always, we appreciate it if you read Racism 101, […]

Why I hate adoptive parents

Note: Blog newcomers should read the entire Why I hate adoptive parents series and then should sit on their hands for the next seven to ten years. Thank you. Forwarded from a listserv of predominantly white parents with Asian kids comes a turd of stupidity from a white adoptive parent. Under discussion is the question […]

Why I hate adoptive parents

Reason 11. Sanctuary is a place of refuge. For many people of color, being in their own communities (however broadly or narrowly that community may be defined) is an escape from the rest of the white-dominated world. While I welcome your children into my community, I wish sometimes that you would be more respectful of […]

Why I hate adoptive parents

Reason 10. Choosing to confer visibility. Many white adoptive parents assert that their children of color are are “just regular kids.” They forget about their color. They just see their sons and daughters. No such exemptions are parceled out to adults of color or children of color with parents of color. They do not have […]

Why I hate adoptive parents

Reason 9. Anti-immigrant sentiment hurts your internationally-adopted children. Especially when it comes out of your mouth. Do you think that they know that they’re the “right” kind of immigrant when you talk? Do you think that being an adopted American will protect them from hostility towards people who look like them?

Why I hate adoptive parents

Reason 8.   No boundaries. No detail about your kid is too intimate to share on the internet. No photo of your “[insert ethnicity] Princess” too private. What gets me the most is when you divulge something major to thousands of strangers that you haven’t even told your kid yet, like the fact that you found their […]

Why I hate adoptive parents

Addendum by A., reason 6: I too notice that white people feel like they have to come up with some “Asian friends” when they meet me. One time this guy said “he used to work in a Chinese restaurant when he was a kid.” Mind you, he must be in his 30’s now.  Another one […]

Why I hate adoptive parents

Reason 7.  Lack of education about adoption.  If you’re going to transracially adopt, you have a lot of work to do.  Additionally, parenting an adopted child is not the same as parenting a child who was born to you.  Note this qualification: