The War on Drugs

Is apparently being fought in your asshole.

David Eckert didn’t stop completely at the stop sign.  So he got pulled over.  The police officer thought Eckert was clenching his buttocks.  Obviously because he had stashed drugs in his butt.

So the cops took him to the hospital, where a doctor sensibly declined to perform an exam, stating it was unethical.

So what did they do?  They took him to a different hospital.  Here’s what happened:

1. Eckert was x-rayed.  No drugs visible.

2.  Doctors gave Eckert a rectal exam.  No drugs were found.  So obviously,

3. Eckert was given another exam.  Still no drugs.  So obviously the next step was

4. Doctors gave Eckert an enema.  They watched him poop.  Surprise!  No drugs!  Probably didn’t do it right.

5.  Eckert got another enema.  Same (non-) result.

6.  The third time apparently was not the charm.  So they sedated Eckert and

7. Gave him a colonoscopy.

Yeah, you couldn’t make this up. 

Then

8. The hospital billed him for services.

2 thoughts on “The War on Drugs

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