Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Parents

White parents, I would guess.  Are there any other kind?

P.S.  I do not want to hear the fucking starfish story with regard to adoptive children.  Please make a note of it.

17 thoughts on “Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Parents

  1. Gotta call you on this one, Resistance. I actually follow some of the blogs noted in that list– the ones I follow include a mixed race couple with one bio and one adoptive daughter (who recently found the family of their adoptive daughter in China) and the blog of an adult adoptee/adoption reform advocate (Hi Amanda!); there is one on their from a first mom and adoption reform advocate that I read occasionally. I see a fair number of blurbs from adult adoptees, some from first moms (usually who have dual roles, admittedly). Yes, it is heavily weighted toward the White adoptive parent perspective. . . but that isnt the whole story, and while I havent checked out most of them, I’m familiar with a few of the others. I think you’d find some of those WAPs discussing race and class and priviledge issues.

  2. Top twenty-five: Twenty-three appear to be white adoptive mothers. One of these says she is an adult domestic adoptee. Two I can’t identify from a five-second look at the blog, but I’d assume are white because of the white partner, white followers, white icons used.

    I made an assumption about which blogger you are referring to as the “mixed race couple with one bio and one adoptive daughter.” She is white. Amanda did not make the top 25.

    Fundraising and starfish come up in the top ten.

    Geez, the convention is long.

    Edited to add: By the way, that research took me all of five minutes. So I guess I didn’t even really need to look.

  3. Deb, it’s true that a lot of WAP bloggers (including me; I’m a WAP of a Chinese-American boy) discuss race, class, & privilege, but we still embody our privileges while we discuss them. Yes, two of the listed blogs are by first moms (Musings of the Lame and The Chronicles of Munchkinland), but it looks like they are all by white writers–Chookoloonks (Trinidadian mom, American daughter) isn’t in the list at all, and neither is the phenomenal John Raible (http://johnraible.wordpress.com/about-john-w-raible/), who’s a transracial adoptee, an adoptive parent, and an anti-racist scholar and activist. Even though they do have some good blogs in the list, as a “top 25” it’s unacceptably narrow.

  4. Not to be all nit-picky about it but there are 7 blogs listed by adult adoptees as well as several others that belong to organizations. But, yes, there is overwhelming representation by white women. A lot of stay at home mothers too, so I’m assuming well-off, white women.

    What’s more disconcerting to me is the whole religious aspect to a lot of these blogs. “God’s path to our family” or “Grown in Christ’s Heart.” Why doesn’t anyone say, “God sure is shitty to have such economic and racial disparities in the adoption community.” Or, “If God really was awesome he’d make malaria/TB/HIV meds more accessible so families wouldn’t be separated by disease.”

  5. Please note that the list is longer than twenty-five. The top twenty-five are mostly white adoptive parents. There is one blogger who states she is an adult adoptee.

    If you’re a white adoptive parent and you’ve come to defend the honor of your people and your comment contains any of the WHIB’s, don’t bother. Like, “Not all white people are like this!” or “White people are good sometimes!”

    By the way, we are sometimes made aware of mainstream white adoptive parent bloggers because they pass through here and tell us everything we need to know about racism. Or we see them wandering around the web at adult adoptee blogs. There are quite a few who get lauded by white people for their talk about race and racism but who treat people of color like shit.

  6. Hi Deb :-) I was referring to just the top 25 who won. None of the individuals who won were first parents or *only* adult adoptees. As adult adoptees will often point out (and no disrespect to the adoptee/a-mom who is on that list) just because you are *also* an adult adoptee does not mean you are blogging about adult adoptee issues.

    IMHO being white and blogging about race is not the same as being someone who experiences racism (themselves as a person of color, not as how they are experiencing it through someone else) blogging about it. It is not acceptable for white people to continue to be the spokespeople for the everyone else. It is not acceptable for adoptive parents to be adoption’s spokespeople either.

    People can either ask me or ask my a-mom what being adopted is like. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got a better idea of it than she does :-)

  7. WAP here that thinks that whole thing is kind of creepy.

    I do think a WAP is a valid perspective because we do exist, but not in lieu of anyone else’s.

    And my perspective on this “my little starfish” (WTF?) type behavior is something like a strong need to be validated, of course, but also to convince themselves that they are doing something good. Seems to be that being a “good” WAPOCOC (of children of color) is nearly physically impossible and accepting that is difficult as hell.

    But it does help.

    I think that’s what’s important here. For me. Not you.

  8. You are absolutely right, Resistance. I didn’t count the top 25– I looked to see who was there at all. Bloggers had to nominate their blog, and I understand that the winners were selected via voting. No doubt that skews the results. And while it would be BETTER to see fewer of these blogs being by white adoptive moms, and more by other people, if some of those blogs send the message “where are the other voices?” that’s valuable. One such blog (also not on the list, now that I think about it) would be http://angryadoptivemom.blogspot.com/. And Mary, I agree, John Raible’s absence is a huge gaping hole! The no-longer-being-actively-maintained http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/ is another.

  9. “People can either ask me or ask my a-mom what being adopted is like. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got a better idea of it than she does :-)” Ha, well put.

    FWIW (probably nuthin), I wouldn’t dream of blogging about my family, even though I am concerned about racism and ethical adoption. Quite simply, it’s not my story to tell.

    I am much more likely to link to thought-provoking blog posts or news articles about racism on my Facebook page, and leave my kids out of it.

    I find the vast majority of blogs that write about adoption from the perspective I already have a total waste of time. The only exception I can think of offhand is China Adoption Talk. The only other blogs I visit regularly (other than friends’) are this one and First Mother Birthmother Forum.

  10. The issues: Underrepresentation, ventriloquy, who is presented as an expert.

    The majority response: It isn’t that bad. But at least they talk about the issues! These are good people.

  11. Well off white women as usual. I bet if any “minorities” tried to adopt a white baby (especially black people) they would be thoroughly background checked before being denied anyway.

  12. I’d ask what the ‘starfish’ story is but I’m pretty sure it’s something so awful that I really don’t wanna know.

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