I tripped over a curb today and took a really hard fall. Undoubtedly I would have broken something except I landed on some of the eight (!) bags of groceries I was carrying. The knee was driven right into a carton of oatmeal, which exploded spectacularly upon impact. The forearm and elbow were protected by a giant package of toilet paper.
Also, I managed to keep all of my teeth.
If I could get these things (see #11) on film, I’d have a great blooper reel. But alas.