My white friend

My white friend grew up in a very racist, segregated environment. My white friend has parents and family members who hold very racist views.

My white friend has a partner who holds very racist views. Who opposed adopting a child from Korea because “I don’t want one of them in the house.”

I’ve been in the house.

They’ve been in the house.

My white friend has never taken anti-racism training.  Hasn’t attended diversity workshops.  Doesn’t read any of the literature.  But my white friend knows one thing:  My experience is real.


2 thoughts on “My white friend

  1. Why are you friends with this person? I could understand if you didn’t care that they weren’t an anti-racist worker, per se, but someone who has been involved long term with a racist?! That speaks volumes. This person feels those views aren’t ‘reason enough’ to break up with this guy/girl and yet they have a friend of color. And you’ve been to the house?! This is a menagarie.

  2. I have a white friend very similar to this. She and I met when I moved to a small rural town with my adoptive mother and step-father. Her and I have actually become closer friends in the past five years than when were in school together. She sees me and my realities and struggles as real. Simply because she does not experience them, she does not refute the fact that they exist for me and my children and husband. One of the things that I love about her is that she will read my blog and have a discussion with her partner. A positive one. He may not get is as much as she does, but he will hear it better from her because he relates to her more. These conversations are often begun with “Wow I never thought about that…because we don’t have to…”

    As easy as it would be to vilify an entire race as ours often is, it is more constructive and worthwhile to be able to see that on an individual level, in the most basic ways, mutual respect really isn’t that difficult.

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