Why can’t you?

I was laughing at this Elie Mystal opinion piece about post-racial America. Here’s a quote:

If he [Barack Obama] can do it, why can’t you?

Whenever a homeless white person asks me for change, I always sneer at him and say: “You can’t be serious. You’re white. Look at Bill Gates. Why don’t you go invent an operating system instead of trying to freeload off of society you lazy white man.”

Oh wait, I never say that. Because that would make me a giant prick.

My mom would say that. In fact, she has sometimes said, “He’s white, what’s his problem?”

I have to admit I’ve thought similar things. You can call me a giant prick. Just don’t say anything about my mom.

5 thoughts on “Why can’t you?

  1. That’s funny.

    I think I’ll use that line everytime some White person complains about anything:

    “Stop making excuses for yourself and looking for a handout. After all, you’re White, and you live in the richest, freest, bestest, most democratic and noble nation in the entire history of the human species (according to many Americans themselves). So no more alibis for your failures.”

  2. I love it. The flip side of the tired old “I’m white and I am not rich; therefore, white privilege doesn’t exist” argument.

    I’m sooo turning this one on MY mom next time she complains about anything.

  3. There’s a difference between thinking things and saying them. I think uncharitable thoughts all the time. I just don’t actually say them, because saying them out loud is often insensitive or obnoxious. The prickiness comes in when it gets past the filter between brain and mouth. ;)

  4. That article is hilarious.

    “Look, I get that the cultural stereotype is that black people are ‘cool,’ but let’s be realistic. Obama is a huge dork.” heh heh

    “Political humor sucks now…Conan O’Brien, Dave Letterman, Jon Stewart, these people are supposed to be professionals. Do your job! Don’t just sit around waiting for Chris Rock to tell you what to do. Take a freaking risk.”

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