Trying out the new tag


So you’re a family with five biological kids and a husband who is often deployed.  And you’re approved for an adoption, because you’d love to have a big family.  After 18 months, you call it quits.

Edited to add:

The blogger notes in the NYT comment section that she had three children when she adopted and then had two additional biological children.  And here’s a bit from another blog post:

As an adoptive parent I empathize with the difficulties that can accompany adoption. Our son Matteo has physical and developmental problems and at times it’s tough to connect with him. There are differences and things to understand about adoption that aren’t part of a fairy tale. It’s not all easy and “live happily ever after”. But it’s also rewarding and more importantly we are talking about a human being here not a broken toy!

A child is a child whether biological or adopted – there is no option to return them! There can be difficult situations but this couple adopted an infant and raised her for seven years before deciding that she wasn’t a good match! Biological or adopted children should be treated the same!

I feel bad for this couple and the little girl, it’s terrible for everyone involved but especially for this innocent orphan. Sometimes I think it goes back to the issue of taking responsibility for our actions and decision even if it’s tough.

That post is dated January 2008. She’s remarking on the Jade Poeteray case. Another blog posts notes that the child was adopted 1 1/2 years ago as of February 29, 2008. Eighteen months is the length of time the writer says the blogger kept the child before disrupting. She had a biological child around June 2008.  So she birthed two kids in the two years following the child’s adoption.  Also mentioned are the family’s frequent moves–one post says they moved six times in five years.  The disruption occurred sometime before December 2008.


9 thoughts on “Trying out the new tag

  1. Eerie how similar the Poeteray case and this are. After two biological children, the adopted child gets the shaft. How to prevent such cases? Maybe parents have to sign before adopting that they have to give up a biological child first before they can give up an adopted child. Grrrr!

  2. Has anyone ever failed a home study, in the history of adoption? ever? I am seriously wondering what you have to do to fail a home study.

  3. most of the comments to the article are sickening, that this ap had so much courage, meanwhile, her five girls are sitting there watching spongebob? wtf? the woman is cold, so what if he was eating his own poop, omg, how can anyone get rid of a kid like that?

  4. I know! My sister writes a blog and got seriously flamed for criticizing NFL “cheerleaders.” But this lady writes about GIVING UP HER SON, and everyone’s like, “Oh, you’re so BRAVE!” WTF? I can only hope they did not publish the negative comments.

  5. yeah, i can’t believe just how many boring, blah blah blah comments that commended that ap with the “you are so brave” crap for getting rid of your kid, sending him off with a kit bag. what a sick woman, i feel sorry for those girls sitting on the couch watching spongebob, they probably wondering who is next!

  6. As much as being an ap is fraught with doubt, there only ways I could be separated from my sons would be if we discovered they were stolen and their birth parents wanted them back or if I died.

    And I’ve said this in commentary more than once – many of the other parents I met during the “process” seemed to not have the right mindset to take it on. Then again I include myself in that. I believe it impossible to start out a good ap. One has to earn it. If only because the process of becoming an ap is so thoroughly screwed up.

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