This article caught my eye for a number of reasons. It started out in a promising manner with a quote from a director of international adoption:
“They need to understand that race and ethnicity still matter,” Stigger says. “Love is not going to be enough. Where your child came from is part of them, whether that’s a neighborhood in Chicago or an orphanage in China.”
But then the (white) director goes on to say the following:
Parents need to expand their social circle, Stigger says. She had black kids, so she made black friends — and now describes herself as a black mom.
The article later quotes an adoptive parent:
Harbeck Haley is thankful that Xilin provides Asian role models for her girls, and she tries to provide the rest. “We cook Chinese, go to Chinese restaurants, have a lot of Chinese art in our home, celebrate the Chinese festivals,” she says. “Twice a year I give a party at their public schools for the Chinese New Year and Chinese Moon Festival. It’s just part of our life — what we feel is important as a Chinese-American family.”
I’m sorry, but you don’t become a “black mom” because you adopt black kids. Try announcing this among your “black friends” and see how well it’s received. You don’t become a “Chinese American” family by adopting Chinese kids. I mentioned this once among a bunch of Chinese Americans (real Chinese Americans) and they all just about spit nails.
gabriela63 once mentioned that to identify your family or yourself as “Chinese American” is to exoticize the “Chinese” over the other heritage(s) that may comprise your family. But additionally I think that it is patronizing to think that you can assume the history of being black or being Chinese simply because you got a couple of kids of color.
Wanna try being black or Chinese for a while? Try giving up your privilege.