It has been strongly suggested to me that I need to help one of my elderly relatives obtain some new pants.  Unfortunately, this combines three of my least-favorite activities:  Old people, driving and shopping.  Additionally, this task is complicated by the following:

This relative is probably around 4′8″ tall.  I don’t know her measurements, but she says her waist size is similar to her hip size.  I’d guess 30″ and 35″.  I’d guess her inseam is around 25″ or so.  Her weight is 115.  How do I know this?  I take her to the doctor.

I seriously doubt we will be able to find any pants with a 25″ inseam, but longer pants are probably okay.  Since the strongly suggesting person knows how to sew.  The strongly suggesting person, however, does not know how to sew pants.  I know this to be the case because I strongly suggested that this person might sew some pants.  The strongly suggesting person does not wear pants.  (How is that possible?)

This relative wants new blue jeans and some casual pants.  Any suggestions about brands would be gratefully received.  The petite shop near her residence closed.

This is one of those things that makes me feel a little bit crazy.  Thanks for any help you might provide.

Conspiracy.

Hate crime.

Those are the charges against three police officers who were involved in the aftermath of the murder of Luis Ramirez, according to CNN.  This article lists four members of the police, Shenandoah Police Chief Matthew Nestor, Capt. Jamie Gennarini, Lt. William Moyer and Police Officer Jason Hayes.   Brandon Piekarsky and Derrick Donchak have also been charged with federal hate crimes.

You might remember that it took two weeks for the murderers to be charged, despite the fact that a retired police officer witnessed the crime and another witness was able to name the attackers.  You might also remember that one of the officers dated Piekarsky’s mother, and another was a family friend to another perpetrator.  Or that there were serious allegations that the perpetrators were coached about getting their stories straight.

Piekarsky, who delivered the fatal blow to Ramirez’s head, was sentenced to six to twenty-three months.  He might be out by Christmas.  Or maybe not.  We can only hope.

Edited to add:  This article says that Piekarsky is scheduled to be released Thursday. WTF.  I hate to be right.

快樂是自找的

Happiness is self-inflicted?

Boy, we’re just full of holiday joy and cheer over here.

Tony Eddy Whisenhunt faces 18 years in prison after pleading guilty to repeatedly raping his 7-year-old adopted Chinese daughter.

I hear all the time that people think the adoption process is lengthy, cumbersome and intrusive.  I don’t think it’s enough.

On September 1, 2007, Du Doan was a 62-year-old man who was fishing at Montrose Harbor in Chicago.  He would be just 64 if he were alive today.

Today John J. Haley was sentenced to 10 years for involuntary manslaughter.  He faced a sentence of two to five years, but the potential sentence was 10 years because of a prior drug conviction.  Haley’s lawyers also moved for a new trial.  Undoubtedly because they thought it was unfair he should be convicted of involuntary manslaughter for pushing yet another man into the lake, laughing and walking away as Doan drowned.

If he serves all ten years, he will be just 43 years old when released.  But Du Doan will still be dead.

Go here.

DYNGR

That was the vanity license plate for a Muskegon man.  Before you click the link, what do you think it stands for?

(In this post, E. K. Gordon and Christie both thought the writer used the term “flesh-colored” with malicious intent.  Have you previously experienced the Oh-I-Didn’t-Mean-Anything-By-It racist?)

Who are you and where are you from?

Van Barfoot is apparently now 90 years old and was recently involved in a homeowners’ dispute over a flagpole.  I heard on the radio this morning that Barfoot is the most decorated U.S. veteran.

Thank you, Mr. Barfoot, for your service.

Story here. Read his book when you have the chance.