I don’t know why, but I just can’t get all excited about a newspaper columnist who refers to the adoption of Asian babies as the newest fad. Maybe it’s because the objectification of Asian babies (and Asian adults) is so commonplace in U.S. culture. In fact, I’ve heard Asian babies referred to as a trend or a fashion accessory in the mainstream media several times. It isn’t the first, and it probably won’t be the last. And it’s not just the media.

Adoptive parents and agencies talk about how “Asian babies are so beautiful–you’ll just fall in love!” and “Asian babies are sooo cute!” And the desirability of the product–the ease in acquisition, the no-hassle process, no messy birth parent ties! Get yourself an adorable “china doll”–the perfect China empress!

Do all those people who got excited about Mike Seate rise up in arms about how Asian babies are portrayed by adoption agencies? Or how about the portrayal of Asian adults in popular culture? The blog Stuff White People Like lists “Asian girls.” Yanno, because they’re stuff. And fads to boot.

What about the objectification of Asian women? Why do Asian women represent more than a third of all porn images? Why is asiaphilia so common? What’s with all this “geisha” and “china doll” crap? Why do guys talk about how you “just gotta get one of those Asian girls” as if they’re interchangeable sexbots?

And where are the angry adoptive parents of Asian children in those instances?

The various comments around the web make it clear to me that adoptive parents aren’t angry about their children being objectified as much as they are angry about themselves being accused of adopting because of a fashion trend.

I feel like Hollywood IS looking at it like “a fashion accessory” which makes all transracial adoptive parents look bad.

And of course, being accused of racism makes white parents really angry. So what do they do in response? Why, they hurl accusations of racism (or reverse racism) back. It seems to be exceptionally satisfying for some white people to accuse black people of racism. Because then you don’t have to look at the problem. Because you’re not the racist in a racist society that reinforces your privilege. No, they’re the real racists!

There are some common themes that recur in the comments from white adoptive parents:

1. Black people don’t want white people to adopt!

First and foremost, when have black people ever been able to stop white people from doing something they really want to do? White adoptive parents quote the National Association of Black Social Workers and the “genocide” remark all the time. What they do not ever do is read the actual statement and recognize that concerns of the black social workers for black children.

White adoptive parents often mention how black people don’t approve of whites adopting black children. And this was apparently enough to prevent them from adopting. Because you know how much importance white people put on black people’s opinions. Yet many white adoptive parents mention how friends or family members aren’t all that pleased about those yellow kids either. But that doesn’t seem to stop them.

Got that? The disapproval of unnamed black people and some social work organization with no real power maintains the ability to prevent white people from adopting. The disapproval of friends and relatives, not so much.

In any event, why do white parents assume Asian people want white people to adopt their children? I only know two Asian social workers, but I’m pretty sure that a few minutes with either of them would make a white prospective adoptive parent scream, “You’re the one who’s racist!”

2. Correction. There are a lot of people out there who want to tell Mike Seate that he is wrong, wrong, wrong! Some are unintentionally hilarious:

And yes, it does cost tens of thousands of dollars to adopt Latino babies, because “Latinos” are from Latin America which still makes it an International Adoption you pile of useless garbage.

They provide the dollar amounts for their own adoptions. They talk about the high prices paid by people they know who have adopted domestically. They say how domestic adoption is more expensive than adoption from China.

But this is just a deflection tactic. While Seate may be wrong on some of the facts (and I note that I don’t know, because I’m too lazy to look up all that crap), his point is not being addressed by the comments.

In any event, among the things that I believe falls under the category of Stuff White People Like is getting to be the authority. Even better if you get to tell off a black man.

3. Race obviously isn’t a problem for us, since we have an Asian child! We’re not racist!

Um. The Black Friend Defense just doesn’t cut it. The Asian Child Defense is even less convincing, since it is not a relationship of equals.

Subparagraph (a): We tried to adopt from foster care but couldn’t! We’re not racist!

4. The country comparison.

Additionally, while the foster care system in the US is hardly perfect, it does provide
for education, ongoing medical and dental care, and other services to prepare the kids for life. Orphans in many countries, including China, are NOT guaranteed any of these benefits (and usually do not receive them).

A different commenter:

We have adopted children from China and have fostered children here in the States. We even adopted one of them. But, if we hadn’t adopted our son, he would still have a roof over his head and a shot at a decent life without us.

(”One of them”? *shiver*)

In my somewhat limited experience, kids in foster care aren’t very well-provided for. I also don’t think they have much of a “shot at a decent life.” How does this compare with China? I have no idea. However, the big problem with this argument is its attempt to defend international adoption when presented with the need of children here. Because hey! Those kids in China are just so much needier!

I have a lot of trouble with this argument, because it directly contradicts another recurring theme:

5. All children of deserving of a home! Well, yes, I don’t think anybody would argue with you. But the question is about how prospective adoptive parents choose a particular child. Numbers 4 and 5 above tend to run together, and include such other subthemes as Infertile people aren’t responsible for homeless kids, Why aren’t black people adopting? and My kid would have died if left in China.

And anyway, we didn’t want a kid who was (a) older, (b) had special needs, (c) wouldn’t fit into our community, (d) whom other people are racist against, (e) had birth parents who could come back and challenge us, (f) ad infinitum. So maybe not all kids are really that deserving.

6. Ah, yes. My kid would have died if left in China. My kid had special needs. My kid was allowed to lie in a bed all day and was never helped. My kid was left to die by the side of the road. I guess I’d sum this one up as I saved this kid’s life, and don’t you forget it! The biggest problem I have with this one is that the kids aren’t allowed to forget it, either.

7. Freebie Racism.™ Seate makes a comment about the adoptee being better off in a rice paddy 7,000 miles away from the adoptive parents. Which thus allows commenters to get in some freebie racism: “How would he like it if I said black kids would be [insert racist stereotype here]“?

8. All adoptive parents/Americans are white. Because Mike Seate hates white people. He doesn’t want white people adopting. He’s unfairly criticizing white people. Well, he just doesn’t mention them at all. But white people imagine this directed attack because otherwise how could they accuse him of being a reverse racist? He talks about “people” and “Americans” adopting (translation: normativity forces us to read this as “white people” and “white people”).

9. And finally, in the What the Fuck category, are these two gems:

In China my daughter would have no chance at a college education and would have most likely gone to work in a factory for low wages. She would never have a family of her own and would live in a dormitory a mile from her work. Instead of picking on families who give a child a home and a chance at a life of freedom why don’t you write about the “families” that keep on having kids…

Good friends of mine paid for the pregnancy & birthing costs, brought home a “local” baby girl only to have to return her to her birthmother 3 days later. They said it was worse than burying a child.

Edited to add some additional ranty goodness at the end of paragraph 5.