So I went to a community event the other day. Waited patiently at the refreshment table for a drink. There was only one person in front of me, but she was taking a very long time. Then right when she finished, a white woman stepped right up in front of me and helped herself.
(Yes, I do attribute this to her race.)
Anyway, so later I apparently was pointed out to this same woman as a person to know, and she came over and made some politeness noises. I was talking with a Latina woman at the time and I noted with some interest that the white woman didn’t acknowledge her. She just butted into the conversation.
Anyway, because I am so f*cking polite, I introduced them.
(Wait, it’s coming!)
So what happens? The white woman glances over and says, “Oh, I already KNOW Mary!”
One problem.
I wasn’t talking with Mary. Mary is Asian Indian. I was talking with Christina. And I introduced her as Christina. There’s maybe five inches difference between them in height. One of them has short hair and one has long hair. One’s hair is black and the other’s is reddish brown. I’d guess there’s also a thirty pound weight difference, and one of the women tends to dress very stylishly.
Later I find out that Mary’s children play with the white woman’s children, and they have kids in the same classroom, even.
On another note, somebody came up to me recently and made a lot of complimentary comments about the community service video I’m in. Except I’m not in it. She even asked me, “Are ya SURE?”

13 comments
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May 16, 2008 at 6:31 am
panracial
I understand, Resistance. As I’ve mentioned, I’m four races, but I get mixed up and compared to a person of a race that I’m not constantly — although we have similar hair but very different complexions. Oddly enough, people of that raceoften assume that I am their race and try to speak to me in one of their ethnic languages. It’s also happened to my sister and my mother.
May 16, 2008 at 6:52 am
overseas chinese
Gosh, I would be happy if anyone talks to me or has mistaken me for someone else :-)
May 16, 2008 at 12:48 pm
JR
This happens to me more times than I can count.
May 16, 2008 at 4:41 pm
macon d
I’m saddened to hear this happened, but not surprised. It’s a common white tendency, and it’s actually related to the one I just blogged about yesterday, that of mixing up the names of non-white people. The commenters there also describe incidents like the one you were subjected to.
It seems that white people, especially, still have an overwhelming tendency to lump non-white people together, and to individualize themselves and other whites.
By the way, I also wanted to let you know that I referred more directly in today’s blog post to one of yours, the one against white anti-racists. I can’t find a place on your blog to write to you, so please pardon the off-topic reference and note of gratitude here.
May 16, 2008 at 7:20 pm
uglyblackjohn
I like how civil you are in your approach to racial issues. I like that there is very little blame or the “Hate Whitey” attitude in your post. I enjoy the fact that you can explain a situation without being a polemic.
The scenario which you describe has happened to me more often than I would have liked.
This is the best blog on race yet.
May 16, 2008 at 9:53 pm
panracial
What do you define as the “hate whitey” attitude? Why do you call yourself “ugly?”
May 16, 2008 at 9:57 pm
panracial
Oh, wait, I see on your blog you link to Cato Insitute and Bill O’Reilly as “sources of info smarter than yourself.” So I guess the Bill “hate black” thing doesn’t bother you. It’s ok for him to be amazed that black ppl don’t curse in restaurants at their waiters or to say, erroneously, that black Katrina victims didn’t leave in time b/c they were spoiled by welfare when the overwhelming majority weren’t on welfare, I guess.
May 18, 2008 at 3:49 am
RayU
Overseas Chinese, *I* wanted to talk to you, but all we did was exchange emails. :-)
I’m also often mistaken for somebody else, or rather, another race. I call it the “I’m not white, I’m not black, so speak to me in Spanish!” syndrome. Excuse me, we’re in the U.S.A. so try speaking to me in English first. And no, I don’t understand Spanish. I’d like some practice in Mandarin or Japanese though…
I was at a music festival, where most of the attendees (and bands) were white. A band from Peru had performed that year. Later I had received passerby comments “loved your performance!” I had to think twice, because, I HAD performed at the music festival, but in a different band 2(?) years prior.
May 18, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Sara no H.
Ugh. I was at Macy’s the other day with my aunt, and the little old white woman at the counter who was supposed to be ringing us up was too busy chatting with the white woman behind us in line to actually get around to us. It was ridiculous, but we held our ground so that she could look sheepish and say “I’m sorry” - which of course, she never did, so I left more than a bit peeved.
What is it with white people and lines? :p
May 23, 2008 at 4:26 am
Amanda
I just don’t like when people use someone’s race as reason for their actions. :(
May 23, 2008 at 7:54 pm
uglyblackjohn
panracial- please don’t stalk me- Why do you turn a compliment on this blog into a personal attack? I list sites or blogs with views different than mine - it creates a better understanding. And yes Amanda, I agree with you.
May 25, 2008 at 12:33 am
panracial
So you provide a link and it;s stalking when people click it?
May 25, 2008 at 8:57 am
uglyblackjohn
You in particular pan. Please click it now.