I don’t think not appologizing is a class awareness thing, though. When I appologized to the gentleman above, it was for bothering him and babbling at him, not because I think store employees are beneath me. I consider it only polite to appologize to someone when my presumptions take up their time. I’ve appologized to employees as well, when I’m particularly ditzy or out of it, because they’re working and they just want me to order or pay and be done with it, not dither.

My (black) husband has been dealing with a slightly more negative case of people assuming something because of his looks. He has shoulder-length dreadlocks, and people keep coming up to him and attempting to buy drugs (and, in case it’s not clear, that’s not what he does for a living - he is a chemical engineer who works as a business analyst). The other day someone asked him for drugs while he was at the convenience store, having just gotten out of the minivan, with our infant daughter strapped onto him in a sling, while he was in line to get a chocolate malt. I mean, sure, drug dealers have families, too, and they probably like ice cream as much as the next person, but even still, do you suppose they deal in the convenience store with their baby strapped onto their bodies?

After a performance for the President (I don’t remember which one), Houston and most of the guests were in a post gala buffet line in the White House. Houston picked up a plate and a white woman took it from her, thinking that Whitney Houston was there to pass out dishes.

And generally, when you tell people that you don’t work there, no, they don’t apologize.

But I haven’t ever had anyone get bitchy with me for not helping them after I said I didn’t work there. That is just.. bizarre and very rude.

There are some mentions about being mistaken despite wearing ‘expensive’ clothing (e.g. briefcase and tie, hipster haircut). But I don’t see how wearing these things should matter in this context; do you really have to wear something ‘better’ to make up for your ‘deficiency’ in race?

Even if I were wearing a cheap red T-shirt and shorts, I still won’t think others will have any more of an excuse when they mistake my identity. I should be able to wear anything (of any class or style), and be confident that people will not make assumptions so easily. I’ll be equally as mad if they think I’m an employee while I’m wearing those clothes as opposed to some other piece of evidence that proves I’m ‘rich enough’ not to be a service person.

I think it is sad that it happens and I know my daughter will face it. I hope she can deal with it with dignity and self assurance.